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Ken's Weiß Underwear Drawer
Narrator: And so Yohji, now much smaller than before, made his way through the forest again, totally lost and not happy about it. Yohji: Have you people ever heard of *signs*? How does anyone know which way to go around here?! Voice: You could go that way.... [Yohji jumps, startled.] Yohji: What the...? Who's there? Voice: Who indeed? Narrator: Yohji looked up in the tree to see a grinning cat lounging on a tree branch, its tail swaying gently. [Schuldich is laying along the branch, wearing cat ears and a tail. He regards Yohji with interest] Cat: [points to the left] You could go that way... but the March Hare lives there. Yohji: March Hare? Who's he? And for that matter, who are you?! Cat: [takes off of his head, rolls it around on his finger, then sets it down on the branch and steps onto it] Can you stand on your head? [Yohji seems much paler than he did before] Yohji: [stammering] L-look... I'm just trying to find a white rabbit that I've been following. Cat: White rabbit, hm? [points to the right] You could try and go that way... Yohji: Who lives there? Cat: The Mad Hatter... as you would suspect, he's mad... Yohji: [raises an eyebrow] Well, then I'll stick with the March Hare. [starts to head down the left hand path] Cat: [genuinely enjoying this] It won't do you any good, he's mad too... Yohji: [throws his hands in the air] Well I don't want to talk to someone who's crazy! Cat: [drops down from the tree lithely, circles Yohji appraisingly] That's tough, because you're mad too. Yohji: [shoves him away] I am NOT! Cat: [sidles up to Yohji and snakes an arm across his stomach] Oh, but you have to be. [he purrs in Yohji's ear] You see, we're all mad here... Narrator: And as Yohji watched, the cat began to vanish piece by piece until all that was left was the toothy smile. Cat: You might have noticed, I'm not..... all there myself..... Narrator: After a moment, that too faded, leaving Yohji completely alone. Yohji: [shivers] I don't suppose it would seem pathetic if I really wanted to go home now.... *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Narrator: Yohji wandered down the righthand path for some time, hoping to pass through the March Hare's place without catching him at home. The forest began to lighten, and he found himself amid a huge garden of flowers. [There are roses, gentians, cattylas and freesia, along with various types of daisies towering over Yohji's head. He continues walking, looking up at the flowers owlishly.] Narrator: It was not long before Yohji, who was not paying attention to where he was going, tripped on something and fell face-first into the dirt. [Yohji picks himself up, wiping the dirt from his mouth and out of his eyes.] Yohji: This is *so* not my day.... Voice: Then *whose* day would it be? Yohji: [whirls around, looking for the source of the voice] Listen up, you furball! I'm not in the mood for your stupid questions! Voice: Furball? I should hope not. Narrator: Yohji finally glanced over to a large mushroom and saw smoke smoke rings rising from it. Since he was below the cap of the mushroom, he could not see what was on top of it; so he used three smaller mushrooms as stepping stones, and came face-to-face with a brightly colored caterpillar. [Yohji stares at Crawford for a moment. The leader of Schwarz is decked out in a finely tailored, multi-colored suit and is lounging against the stem of the plant, smoking a water pipe.] Yohji: Oh... I thought you were someone else. Caterpillar: [eyes him contemptuously] *Who* are *you*? Yohji: Um, well, I'm Yohji. Caterpillar: And *what*, praytell, is a Yohji? Yohji: [has his gaze rivited on the pipe] Someone desperately in need of a smoke... Caterpillar: [sharply] RECITE! Yohji: Huh? Caterpillar: Don't you know anything? Recite your lessons! Yohji: Erm..... a i u e o... ka ki ku ke ko... ta chi tsu te to... Caterpillar: [blows a ring of smoke at him] Wrong. Yohji: [inhales the smoke, starts choking on it] Wh-hat? [more coughing] Caterpillar: You are wrong. As in you are not correct. Try again. Yohji: [grits his teeth] Iku.... ikimasu... ikanai.... ikenai.... [The Caterpillar blows another ring of smoke at Yohji, but this time Yohji dodges] Yohji: What is wrong with you?! [throws his hands up in the air] Screw you, I'm leaving... Narrator: Frustrated, Yohji turned to go, jumping down the way he came. Suddenly, the Caterpillar called out to him. Caterpillar: Wait!! I have something to tell you! Yohji: Not interested. Caterpillar: What did you come here for? What did you want? Yohji: I actually kind of stumbled upon here, but actually.... I want to be taller than this. [he indicates his short stature] Caterpillar: [is a little miffed, adjusts his glasses] There is nothing wrong with this height. Yohji: If I were as tall as I'm supposed to be, I could squoosh you.... Caterpillar: [frowns] Well, you can use the mushroom. Yohji: This is another one of those eating things, right? Caterpillar: One side will make you taller, one side will make you shorter. Narrator: Hesitantly, Yohij picked a piece of either side of the mushroom. He took a bite out of one side, and found himself shrinking even smaller than he already was. Yohji: [is yelling at Crawford in a high-pitched, squeaky voice] Jerk!!! Narrator: Yohji then climbed onto the other piece of mushroom and tried that. To his great joy, he grew back to his normal size. Unfortunately, he squished the mushroom and the caterpillar. [Yohji looks down at the Crawford/mushroom mush, looks around furtively, and takes some of the mush that was on the 'grow taller' side.] Yohji: Eight second rule... [he sticks it in his right pocket, and puts the 'grow shorter' piece in his left. Then he walks away, whistling, heading towards the March Hare's house] *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Yohji was reciting the japanese alphabet, then he was trying to conjugate "to go" before Crawford stopped him.