Hat Trick

Narrator: Once upon a time, there lived a young man named Yohji. [Yohji is dragged on stage tied in his own wire by Omi and Ken, who run off before he can free himself and kill them] Narrator: And though his parents attempted to make him a proper, well-behaved youth, Yohji failed to live up to their expectations. He instead became a chain-smoking, alcoholic skirt-chaser with a thinly disguised Shota Complex. [Yohji's jaw drops to the floor at this, and he makes small squeaky noises, trying to deny it. Offstage, there is uproarious laughter heard from just about everyone] Yohji: [weakly] I don't want to do this anymore..... Narrator: One day, as Yohji skipped class to smoke in the woods behind his house, he began to sufforcate and had to rest against a large oak tree. [Yohji is walking through the woods and then he suddenly begins coughing and breathing harshly. He leans against the tree for support, closing his eyes to rest a moment.] Narrator: While recovering, Yohji saw something out of the corner of his eye. Always curious, he looked through the trees into the deeper part of the woods. [He peers into the woods a little, then is nearly run over as Omi sprints past. The boy stops a little ways away, fumbling around in his pockets. He is dressed in a tight, white t-shirt and hotpants with a cotton tail attached to the rear. On his head are a pair of cute, floppy rabbit ears. Omi is blushing furiously, attempting to ignore the way he is dressed.] White Rabbit: [looks at his watch and yelps] I'm LATE!!! [he bolts] Yohji: The hell?? [runs after him] Narrator: Yohji chased the rabbit further into the woods, trying to comprehend a talking animal, let alone one that kept time using a pocket watch. [Omi ducks into a small crack in a tree and disappears. Yohji manages to squeeze into the hole and immediately begins to plummet down a deep, bottomless hole. He notices his fall beginning to slow, until he simply drifts lazily downward.] Yohji: Well, this is odd... Narrator: Yohji fell for what seemed like hours, until his feet touched earth. Suddenly, a door opened and a bright light shone through it. Yohji walked through the door and into a huge room just in time to see the rabbit disappear through a door in the far wall. [Omi leaps through the door, pulling it shut behind him and Yohji crashes into it trying to follow him.] Yohji: [rubbing his head] ...itai Door: Damn straight.... [Yohji stares at the door for a moment. The voice sounds suspiciously like Persia's.] Yohji: Okay, you're a talking door. Door: Of course I am!! What else would I be? Yohji: But... doors... don't.... talk.... Door: Maybe not where you're from pal, but around here, we do. Speaking of which, you're not from around here, are you? Yohji: No, I'm not. I chased this rabbit and fell down this hole and I somehow ended up here talking to a door. Door: You were chasing a rabbit? You mean the one that just passed through my frame? [Yohji nods vigorously.] Door: [after a pause] Well, there's nothing stopping you from following him, right? Yohji: [considers this for a moment] I guess not... [Yohji opens the door, only to reveal another, smaller one behind it] Door: HA! Fooled you! Narrator: Yohji opened the smaller door, and then the one behind that, and then that one, until all that remained was a door no bigger than his hand. Yohji: [fuming] You have *got* to be kidding me! How the hell do I get in?! Door: [smugly] Well, if you're really interested, you can drink from that bottle on the table. Yohji: What bottle? What table? Door: That table, stupid!! Narrator: Yohji looked around the room and lo, there was a small glass table in the center of the room. Door: Do they not have tables in this place you're from? Yohji: [walking over to the table] Shut up.... Narrator: On top of the table was a clear bottle with a tag on it. The tag read "Drink Me." Yohji: This isn't gonna kill me, is it? Door: No one's ever died before. Narrator: Pulling the cork out of the bottle, Yohji took a sip. [He shrinks about a foot and a half] Yohji: [is so shocked he nearly drops the bottle] Wa--! Door: Ah... so *that's* what it does... Yohji: You mean you didn't know?! Door: Well, no one's ever actually used it... Yohji: WHAT? Door: But it solves your problem, right? You shrink, you can fit through me. Narrator: Yohji thought long and hard about what the door was telling him. If he could go through the door, he could find the white rabbit and ask him what made him able to talk, and find out where he was. Yohji: [takes another sip] Hey, this tastes a little like tequila. [He shrinks another foot] Yohji: [sip] Bourbon. [Shrink] Yohji: [sip] Gin. [Shrink] Yohji: [sip] Rum. [Shrink] Yohji: [sip] Whiskey. [pauses, chugs the rest down] Narrator: Yohji drank so much from the magical bottle, before he knew it, he was little taller than a blade of grass. Door: You're an alcoholic, aren't you.... Yohji: [sees he's not tall enough to reach the doorknob] Hell!! Door: [sighs] Well, you might be able to crawl though the space beneath me. Narrator: Yohji tried and found that he just fit. With no word of thanks to the door, he slid through the space and found himself on the other side of the door, which happened to be outside. Taking in a brief dose of sunlight, Yohji thought about what to do next. Yohji: I'm just going to have to walk around this place until I find that damn rabbit. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Narrator: After walking for an hour, Yohji happened upon a small clearing marked by two large rocks. Weary and nicotene starved, he sat on one of the rocks to rest. Rock: Get off me!! Yohji: [sweatdropping] A talking rock? And I thought the door was bad... [The rock rolls around until it knocks Yohji off and onto the ground. It then rolls over him a few times before settling. Yohji coughs in the dirt and groans as the rock uncurls to reveal Hel, dressed in red and white striped overalls, geek-glasses and a propeller beanie. Her hair is in pigtails and she is not happy about it] Yohji: [stares] Narrator: Curiouser and curiouser! The rock was really a person! The woman turned to the other rock and poked it, and Yohji was extremely startled to hear a voice coming from it. Rock #2: Don't wanna wake up!! Woman: Get up! [Hel kicks the rock and Tot uncurls, eyes teary and wobbly. She is dressed the same as Hel and now she is whining about how mean Hel is] Yohji: [gaping] Who are *you*? Woman: I am Tweedle Dee. This is my sister, Tweedle Dum. Tweedle Dum: [waves, bouncing around Yohji] Hel-lo! Hel-lo! Hel-lo! Yohji: Okay... uh, can you tell me where I am? Tweedle Dee: You're here. Yohji: [glowering] Well, I knew that much. Can you tell me--- Tweedle Dum: A story? Aneki, he wants to hear a story! Tweedle Dee: A story! We can tell him a story... Yohji: Actually, that's fine... I can see myself out... Tweedle Dee: You-- Tweedle Dum: Can't-- Tweedle Dee: Go-- Tweedle Dum: Until-- Tweedle Dee: We-- Tweedle Dum: Tell-- Tweedle Dee: You-- Tweedle Dum: The-- Tweedle Dee & Dum: STORY! [They get right in his face and Yohji falls over] Narrator: Not sure what else to do, Yohji allowed the two women to relate the tale they so obviously wanted to tell. Tweedle Dee: Do you know "The Walrus and the Carpenter"? Yohji: [laughing pathetically] I'm afraid I don't... Tweedle Dum: [whacks him over the head with her stuffed bunny] Well that's what we're going to tell you! [The two women begin to sing together. The scene dissolves into an overhead view of a beach. As the view zooms in, we see Ran walking along with Reiji Takatori. Reiji has long white tusks and whiskers, but is dressed in a nice suit, complete with top hat, spats and a cane. Ran appears normal, is wearing jeans, a white t-shirt, backwards painter's cap and sneakers.] Tweedle Dee & Dum: The sun was shining on the sea, shining with all his might, he did his very best to make the billows full and bright. And this was odd, because it was the middle of the night. The Walrus and the Carpenter were walking close at hand. The beach was white from side to side but much too full of sand. Carpenter: Mister Walrus, my brain begins to burke. We’ll sweep this clear in half a year, if you don't mind the work. Walrus: Work? [Reiji slings an arm around Ran's shoulders and laughs merrily. Ran just looks bored.] The time has come to talk of other things! Of shoes and ships and sealing wax! Of cabbages and kings! Carpenter: Hn. Walrus: [looking pleased with himself] And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings. Calloo, callay, no work today! We’re cabbages and kings! ... [The two walk farther down the beach, with Reiji practically dragging Ran along. They pass a bed of oysters, who all look like Aya-chan. Reiji is practically drooling.] Walrus: Oh, uhhh, oysters, come and walk with us. The day is warm and bright! A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk, would be a sheer delight! Tweedle Dee & Dum: But mother Oyster winked her eye and shook her heavy head. She knew too well this was no time to leave her oyster bed. [Manx sits up in her shell and wags her finger at the little Ayas] Mother Oyster: The sea is nice, take my advice, and stay right here. Tweedle Dee & Dum: Mom said. Walrus: [sputters a moment, then shuts Manx's shell, effectively shutting her up] Yes, yes, of course, of course! But eh... haha! The time has come, my little friends, to talk of other things. Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings. And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings. Haha! Calloo, callay, come run away! We’re the cabbages and kings! ... [Reiji lays out an umbrella and a blanket where he sits comfortably with the Ayas] Walrus: Hrmmm, well now, uh... let me see... Ah! A loaf of bread is what we chiefly need. [Ran looks somewhat confused, but wanders off to look for the bread. After he leaves, Reiji turns to the little Ayas] Walrus: Now, if you’re ready, oysters dear... haha... we can begin to feed. Oysters: [in unison, looking really scared] Feed? Walrus: [cackles] Oh yes, ahh, the time has come, my little friends, to talk of food and things! [Ran comes wandering back with a large loaf of bread, some and peanut butter and jelly. Approaching the blanket, he finds Reiji alone and surrounded by a bunch of empty oyster shells] Walrus: I uh, weep for you, I -uh- oh, excuse me, I deeply sympathize. For I've enjoyed your company, oh, much more than you realize. Carpenter: [in shock] Little oysters, little oysters... Tweedle Dee & Dum: But answer there came none. And this was scarcely odd, because, they’d been eaten, every one! Walrus: Hmm, well, uhhh, ha ha, ha ha, ha ha, hmm... the time has come! [Reiji bolts as Ran advances on him, screaming and waving around his katana. The scene fades back into the forest, where Hel and Tot are finishing up their tale] Tweedle Dee & Dum: For cabbages and kings!! THE END! [There is dead silence. Crickets begin to chirp as Yohji attempts to start breathing again] Yohji: That was disturbing. Tweedle Dum: We have more! Yohji: NO! [he jumps up] I'm getting outta here, you people are insane! Narrator: And so, Yohji was off again, running as fast as possible to escape the storytelling of Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. Soon out of breath, he found himself totally lost within the dark, strange forest. Yohji: Great, *now* where am I supposed to go? Narrator: Yohji stood on the narrow forest path, pondering his options when he heard a voice. Voice: Mary Ann!!! Mary Ann!! [Omi comes sprinting towards Yohji, looking around frantically] Yohji: Finally... White Rabbit: MARY ANN!! [he is furious, shouting right into Yohji's face] You---ACK! I'm late!! Don't just *stand* there! Do something useful!! Get me my gloves! Narrator: Yohji stood in surprise as the rabbit ordered him around like a common servant, and a female one at that. Frustrated, the rabbit grabbed Yohji by the arm and pulled him down the path until the two reached a quaint little house in a clearing. [Omi shoves Yohji towards the door of the house] White Rabbit: My gloves!! Hurry!! [gives him a kick in the rear to get him moving] Yohji: [stumbles into the house] O--oi! [he wanders around the house for a bit, finally making his way upstairs, all the while muttering to himself] Rotten slave driver, why can't he get them himself?! [He spots a dish of candy and swipes a piece, shoving it into his mouth and trying to look like he didn't just do that] Yohji: Now... if I were a rabbit, where would I put my gloves.... [realizes the stupidity of that question] For crying out loud, why would a rabbit need gloves? Narrator: Suddenly, Yohji began to grow.... Yohji: [growing quickly] ....... oh shit.... Narrator: He grew so quickly and became so large that he soon found his legs and arms sticking out of the windows and the doors! Yohji: [in a very uncomfortable and awkward position] I've always wanted to be *big,* but this is ridiculous... White Rabbit: [from outsite] AUGH!! A monster!! There's a monster in my house!! Yohji: [a little bemused] This coming from a talking rabbit... [Outside, Omi is running around frantically, kicking at Yohji's feet and poking him with sticks. Suddenly, he gets an idea] White Rabbit: I know!! I'll *burn* it out! Yohji: [peeking one eye between the shutters] WHAT?!?! White Rabbit: Silence monster!! I'll finish you!! Narrator: The rabbit lit a torch and was all ready to set the house on fire, until he happened to glance at his watch. White Rabbit: Wa!! I'm late!! [he drops the torch, which extinguishes, and runs off] Yohji: [watching him go] Wait a second!! Do you have anything to drink? Narrator: But Yohji received no answer from the rabbit, who was far out of sight by then. For a moment, Yohji simply sat in the house, wondering what on earth to do. [Yohji adjusts his position, and feels something poking into his back. He fusses around until he can get it out from behind him, and finds that it is a very small bottle with the label "Drink Me"] Yohji: Well well... how convenient. [He chugs it down, knowing exactly what will happen when he does, and he shrinks to much smaller than he was before.] Yohji: What the--[reads the back of the tag, which is now as large as he is] "Use 'super strength drink me' for all your shrinking needs".... [kicks at the huge bottle] Jerk.


	Ken's Weiß Underwear Drawer \| home Ken's Weiß Underwear Drawer Narrator: Once upon a time, there lived a young man named Yohji. [Yohji is dragged on stage tied in his own wire by Omi and Ken, who run off before he can free himself and kill them] Narrator: And though his parents attempted to make him a proper, well-behaved youth, Yohji failed to live up to their expectations. He instead became a chain-smoking, alcoholic skirt-chaser with a thinly disguised Shota Complex. [Yohji's jaw drops to the floor at this, and he makes small squeaky noises, trying to deny it. Offstage, there is uproarious laughter heard from just about everyone] Yohji: [weakly] I don't want to do this anymore..... Narrator: One day, as Yohji skipped class to smoke in the woods behind his house, he began to sufforcate and had to rest against a large oak tree. [Yohji is walking through the woods and then he suddenly begins coughing and breathing harshly. He leans against the tree for support, closing his eyes to rest a moment.] Narrator: While recovering, Yohji saw something out of the corner of his eye. Always curious, he looked through the trees into the deeper part of the woods. [He peers into the woods a little, then is nearly run over as Omi sprints past. The boy stops a little ways away, fumbling around in his pockets. He is dressed in a tight, white t-shirt and hotpants with a cotton tail attached to the rear. On his head are a pair of cute, floppy rabbit ears. Omi is blushing furiously, attempting to ignore the way he is dressed.] White Rabbit: [looks at his watch and yelps] I'm LATE!!! [he bolts] Yohji: The hell?? [runs after him] Narrator: Yohji chased the rabbit further into the woods, trying to comprehend a talking animal, let alone one that kept time using a pocket watch. [Omi ducks into a small crack in a tree and disappears. Yohji manages to squeeze into the hole and immediately begins to plummet down a deep, bottomless hole. He notices his fall beginning to slow, until he simply drifts lazily downward.] Yohji: Well, this is odd... Narrator: Yohji fell for what seemed like hours, until his feet touched earth. Suddenly, a door opened and a bright light shone through it. Yohji walked through the door and into a huge room just in time to see the rabbit disappear through a door in the far wall. [Omi leaps through the door, pulling it shut behind him and Yohji crashes into it trying to follow him.] Yohji: [rubbing his head] ...itai Door: Damn straight.... [Yohji stares at the door for a moment. The voice sounds suspiciously like Persia's.] Yohji: Okay, you're a talking door. Door: Of course I am!! What else would I be? Yohji: But... doors... don't.... talk.... Door: Maybe not where you're from pal, but around here, we do. Speaking of which, you're not from around here, are you? Yohji: No, I'm not. I chased this rabbit and fell down this hole and I somehow ended up here talking to a door. Door: You were chasing a rabbit? You mean the one that just passed through my frame? [Yohji nods vigorously.] Door: [after a pause] Well, there's nothing stopping you from following him, right? Yohji: [considers this for a moment] I guess not... [Yohji opens the door, only to reveal another, smaller one behind it] Door: HA! Fooled you! Narrator: Yohji opened the smaller door, and then the one behind that, and then that one, until all that remained was a door no bigger than his hand. Yohji: [fuming] You have got to be kidding me! How the hell do I get in?! Door: [smugly] Well, if you're really interested, you can drink from that bottle on the table. Yohji: What bottle? What table? Door: That table, stupid!! Narrator: Yohji looked around the room and lo, there was a small glass table in the center of the room. Door: Do they not have tables in this place you're from? Yohji: [walking over to the table] Shut up.... Narrator: On top of the table was a clear bottle with a tag on it. The tag read "Drink Me." Yohji: This isn't gonna kill me, is it? Door: No one's ever died before. Narrator: Pulling the cork out of the bottle, Yohji took a sip. [He shrinks about a foot and a half] Yohji: [is so shocked he nearly drops the bottle] Wa--! Door: Ah... so that's what it does... Yohji: You mean you didn't know?! Door: Well, no one's ever actually used it... Yohji: WHAT? Door: But it solves your problem, right? You shrink, you can fit through me. Narrator: Yohji thought long and hard about what the door was telling him. If he could go through the door, he could find the white rabbit and ask him what made him able to talk, and find out where he was. Yohji: [takes another sip] Hey, this tastes a little like tequila. [He shrinks another foot] Yohji: [sip] Bourbon. [Shrink] Yohji: [sip] Gin. [Shrink] Yohji: [sip] Rum. [Shrink] Yohji: [sip] Whiskey. [pauses, chugs the rest down] Narrator: Yohji drank so much from the magical bottle, before he knew it, he was little taller than a blade of grass. Door: You're an alcoholic, aren't you.... Yohji: [sees he's not tall enough to reach the doorknob] Hell!! Door: [sighs] Well, you might be able to crawl though the space beneath me. Narrator: Yohji tried and found that he just fit. With no word of thanks to the door, he slid through the space and found himself on the other side of the door, which happened to be outside. Taking in a brief dose of sunlight, Yohji thought about what to do next. Yohji: I'm just going to have to walk around this place until I find that damn rabbit. ------------------------------- Narrator: After walking for an hour, Yohji happened upon a small clearing marked by two large rocks. Weary and nicotene starved, he sat on one of the rocks to rest. Rock: Get off me!! Yohji: [sweatdropping] A talking rock? And I thought the door was bad... [The rock rolls around until it knocks Yohji off and onto the ground. It then rolls over him a few times before settling. Yohji coughs in the dirt and groans as the rock uncurls to reveal Hel, dressed in red and white striped overalls, geek-glasses and a propeller beanie. Her hair is in pigtails and she is not happy about it] Yohji: [stares] Narrator: Curiouser and curiouser! The rock was really a person! The woman turned to the other rock and poked it, and Yohji was extremely startled to hear a voice coming from it. Rock #2: Don't wanna wake up!! Woman: Get up! [Hel kicks the rock and Tot uncurls, eyes teary and wobbly. She is dressed the same as Hel and now she is whining about how mean Hel is] Yohji: [gaping] Who are you? Woman: I am Tweedle Dee. This is my sister, Tweedle Dum. Tweedle Dum: [waves, bouncing around Yohji] Hel-lo! Hel-lo! Hel-lo! Yohji: Okay... uh, can you tell me where I am? Tweedle Dee: You're here. Yohji: [glowering] Well, I knew that much. Can you tell me--- Tweedle Dum: A story? Aneki, he wants to hear a story! Tweedle Dee: A story! We can tell him a story... Yohji: Actually, that's fine... I can see myself out... Tweedle Dee: You-- Tweedle Dum: Can't-- Tweedle Dee: Go-- Tweedle Dum: Until-- Tweedle Dee: We-- Tweedle Dum: Tell-- Tweedle Dee: You-- Tweedle Dum: The-- Tweedle Dee & Dum: STORY! [They get right in his face and Yohji falls over] Narrator: Not sure what else to do, Yohji allowed the two women to relate the tale they so obviously wanted to tell. Tweedle Dee: Do you know "The Walrus and the Carpenter"? Yohji: [laughing pathetically] I'm afraid I don't... Tweedle Dum: [whacks him over the head with her stuffed bunny] Well that's what we're going to tell you! [The two women begin to sing together. The scene dissolves into an overhead view of a beach. As the view zooms in, we see Ran walking along with Reiji Takatori. Reiji has long white tusks and whiskers, but is dressed in a nice suit, complete with top hat, spats and a cane. Ran appears normal, is wearing jeans, a white t-shirt, backwards painter's cap and sneakers.] Tweedle Dee & Dum: The sun was shining on the sea, shining with all his might, he did his very best to make the billows full and bright. And this was odd, because it was the middle of the night. The Walrus and the Carpenter were walking close at hand. The beach was white from side to side but much too full of sand. Carpenter: Mister Walrus, my brain begins to burke. We’ll sweep this clear in half a year, if you don't mind the work. Walrus: Work? [Reiji slings an arm around Ran's shoulders and laughs merrily. Ran just looks bored.] The time has come to talk of other things! Of shoes and ships and sealing wax! Of cabbages and kings! Carpenter: Hn. Walrus: [looking pleased with himself] And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings. Calloo, callay, no work today! We’re cabbages and kings! ... [The two walk farther down the beach, with Reiji practically dragging Ran along. They pass a bed of oysters, who all look like Aya-chan. Reiji is practically drooling.] Walrus: Oh, uhhh, oysters, come and walk with us. The day is warm and bright! A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk, would be a sheer delight! Tweedle Dee & Dum: But mother Oyster winked her eye and shook her heavy head. She knew too well this was no time to leave her oyster bed. [Manx sits up in her shell and wags her finger at the little Ayas] Mother Oyster: The sea is nice, take my advice, and stay right here. Tweedle Dee & Dum: Mom said. Walrus: [sputters a moment, then shuts Manx's shell, effectively shutting her up] Yes, yes, of course, of course! But eh... haha! The time has come, my little friends, to talk of other things. Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings. And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings. Haha! Calloo, callay, come run away! We’re the cabbages and kings! ... [Reiji lays out an umbrella and a blanket where he sits comfortably with the Ayas] Walrus: Hrmmm, well now, uh... let me see... Ah! A loaf of bread is what we chiefly need. [Ran looks somewhat confused, but wanders off to look for the bread. After he leaves, Reiji turns to the little Ayas] Walrus: Now, if you’re ready, oysters dear... haha... we can begin to feed. Oysters: [in unison, looking really scared] Feed? Walrus: [cackles] Oh yes, ahh, the time has come, my little friends, to talk of food and things! [Ran comes wandering back with a large loaf of bread, some and peanut butter and jelly. Approaching the blanket, he finds Reiji alone and surrounded by a bunch of empty oyster shells] Walrus: I uh, weep for you, I -uh- oh, excuse me, I deeply sympathize. For I've enjoyed your company, oh, much more than you realize. Carpenter: [in shock] Little oysters, little oysters... Tweedle Dee & Dum: But answer there came none. And this was scarcely odd, because, they’d been eaten, every one! Walrus: Hmm, well, uhhh, ha ha, ha ha, ha ha, hmm... the time has come! [Reiji bolts as Ran advances on him, screaming and waving around his katana. The scene fades back into the forest, where Hel and Tot are finishing up their tale] Tweedle Dee & Dum: For cabbages and kings!! THE END! [There is dead silence. Crickets begin to chirp as Yohji attempts to start breathing again] Yohji: That was disturbing. Tweedle Dum: We have more! Yohji: NO! [he jumps up] I'm getting outta here, you people are insane! Narrator: And so, Yohji was off again, running as fast as possible to escape the storytelling of Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. Soon out of breath, he found himself totally lost within the dark, strange forest. Yohji: Great, now where am I supposed to go? Narrator: Yohji stood on the narrow forest path, pondering his options when he heard a voice. Voice: Mary Ann!!! Mary Ann!! [Omi comes sprinting towards Yohji, looking around frantically] Yohji: Finally... White Rabbit: MARY ANN!! [he is furious, shouting right into Yohji's face] You---ACK! I'm late!! Don't just stand there! Do something useful!! Get me my gloves! Narrator: Yohji stood in surprise as the rabbit ordered him around like a common servant, and a female one at that. Frustrated, the rabbit grabbed Yohji by the arm and pulled him down the path until the two reached a quaint little house in a clearing. [Omi shoves Yohji towards the door of the house] White Rabbit: My gloves!! Hurry!! [gives him a kick in the rear to get him moving] Yohji: [stumbles into the house] O--oi! [he wanders around the house for a bit, finally making his way upstairs, all the while muttering to himself] Rotten slave driver, why can't he get them himself?! [He spots a dish of candy and swipes a piece, shoving it into his mouth and trying to look like he didn't just do that] Yohji: Now... if I were a rabbit, where would I put my gloves.... [realizes the stupidity of that question] For crying out loud, why would a rabbit need gloves? Narrator: Suddenly, Yohji began to grow.... Yohji: [growing quickly] ....... oh shit.... Narrator: He grew so quickly and became so large that he soon found his legs and arms sticking out of the windows and the doors! Yohji: [in a very uncomfortable and awkward position] I've always wanted to be big, but this is ridiculous... White Rabbit: [from outsite] AUGH!! A monster!! There's a monster in my house!! Yohji: [a little bemused] This coming from a talking rabbit... [Outside, Omi is running around frantically, kicking at Yohji's feet and poking him with sticks. Suddenly, he gets an idea] White Rabbit: I know!! I'll burn it out! Yohji: [peeking one eye between the shutters] WHAT?!?! White Rabbit: Silence monster!! I'll finish you!! Narrator: The rabbit lit a torch and was all ready to set the house on fire, until he happened to glance at his watch. White Rabbit: Wa!! I'm late!! [he drops the torch, which extinguishes, and runs off] Yohji: [watching him go] Wait a second!! Do you have anything to drink? Narrator: But Yohji received no answer from the rabbit, who was far out of sight by then. For a moment, Yohji simply sat in the house, wondering what on earth to do. [Yohji adjusts his position, and feels something poking into his back. He fusses around until he can get it out from behind him, and finds that it is a very small bottle with the label "Drink Me"] Yohji: Well well... how convenient. [He chugs it down, knowing exactly what will happen when he does, and he shrinks to much smaller than he was before.] Yohji: What the--[reads the back of the tag, which is now as large as he is] "Use 'super strength drink me' for all your shrinking needs".... [kicks at the huge bottle] Jerk. Back